Out of Office…

Clear my Calendar, Clear my Mind, Clear my Body, Clear my Soul.
“Out of office”

Out of office what does that truly mean for you?

Life has been feeling so topsy-turvy, so rushed, so over whelming. I am never “Out of office” on time or at all!

I set myself a task. I am going to treat myself well. Put my “Out of office” on, on time and put my laptop away. I am going to be for the first time in a year “Out of office”.

But it takes planning, real planning, to switch off the laptop, switch off the work life, switch off the mind, switch off the body, switch off the soul, Switch off the everything that is the “In office”, that I am struggling to be “Out of office” from.

By the way I failed. 5pm arrived, and the working day did not end, I wasn’t wrapped up, signed off, complete. It was so incomplete, I didn’t get to write the speech, to put on, wait for it “Out of office”.

That so didn’t happen!

You see, everything has got so long, technically in depth, it takes me up to 20 minutes, to navigate through forever changing Microsoft Office technology and language that it is no longer, just a mouse click here, enter there and return. Done! I am officially “Out of office”.

Times tick tocking by…I just want to end my day and leave the office. It’s after 5pm and I do what ‘IT’ suggest when things are not going well, “Press the off key” and the screen finally goes black, and the laptop is off. It’s off, am off, bag in hand heading to the car, but the one aim, I have been trying to get to all day, being “Out of office”. I am not!

Before I go any further, I need to set the scene, bring you up to speed, why I am topsy-turvy, over whelmed in my feelings. My soul is no longer singing and my fire does not even have a spark…this is another day another blogg. I digress.

It’s apparent the universe, surrounds you with what you need, to be where you need to be physically, psychologically and emotionally. It’s just really hard sometimes to see it, feel it, learn it, act on it “Be in the moment” to succeed to be on your destined path.

My destined path at the moment is to be in a work environment that no longer serves me. I am seeing and experiencing a robust level self centeredness with motive and self gain daily. Which is hard, really hard for me to be around. Here we go, another day another blogg. To keep it simple, the universe is showing me how to show up, do my job and go home and I am not seeing or listening.

Here is my first sign, being in a work environment with a person, that sets themselves a goal an intention. Every day, to get this goal done, from the outside this is what happens. Every thing must stop, all roles and responsibilities, no longer present in their path until the goal is done. In the meantime there is a massive thrust transference of anxiety on to anyone in this pathway to the goal. For a while in my eyes there is nothing but chaos, frustration and annoyance, until this person achieves their very personal’ goal.

And just like that, peace is back….Everything is back to flow, your roles and responsibilities to not join. Your used for that moment. Instead of learning from this, their is a massive drain of energy and loose time being a mule in the path of a person’s goal.

Lesson learned my goal was to be out of office on time and robust in getting this goal done.

I woke up on my first day of annual leave and sent an email, or two, three to be exact.

So here I am….Tossing and turning in mind of how I am truly going to be “Out of office’.

Preparation, lists and notes to self. I book a back massage and a Spa day, last week for tiday Friday. But I wake up, worried I’ve not put my ‘Out of office” on.

I am finally ‘Out of office’. Or am I….

I rush about, packing a bag, making a mental list of things I need to do, for me, for my home, for businesses….The lists begin to bubble like volcanic lava, slowly rolling down to its final resting place. I stop myself, and remember what I have learned from the person in the office. One goal, to have my “Massage” be in that moment.

My massage goes so well, I surrender to an introduction of an afternoon of sleep and blissful Euphoria.

All my roles and responsibilities drift to the right of my mind….When you are an “Holistic Entrepreneur”…there is a struggle to really be “Out of office”. I digress, another day, another blogg.

My goal Friday is simple…Be present for me, show up for me, invite relaxation, rest, empty my mind, if only for today, Friday.

I am just for the moment, finally “Out of office”.

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Situational Depression

If you read ‘All About Me’ one of the things about my character is the organic rawness of my authenticity, experiences that makes me who I am, drives my enthusiasm to share my passion for self love, living an holistic lifestyle to enhance my well-being. I only teach, share what I am have experienced.

There is light at the end of the road

Subconsciously there has been a knock, a prod to write a blog, that is consistent, sharing thoughts experiences actions and reactions. Oh my dayz! When you don’t answer your knocks and prods you soon get catapulted into what you need to do…So here I am writing…your comments, likes shares will be most welcomed. My honesty, vulnerability is here on these pages, learning life’s lessons.

This is probably going to be one of my hardest, changing, metamorphosis, transformation journey, path…I don’t know where, what the end will be.

It’s happening now. I can share, show and tell when and now. Share & follow me on Instagram satyapremkaur

So here we go…I bloody hope this is short term. 🙏🏽

Situational depression is a short-term, stress-related type of depression. It can develop after you experience a traumatic event or series of events. Situational depression is a type of adjustment disorder. It can make it hard for you to adjust to your everyday life following a traumatic event. It’s also known as reactive depression.

Events that can cause situational depression include:

• problems at work or school
• illness
• death of a loved one
• moving
• relationship problems

This 3rd lockdown, has thrown me into the target of experiencing first hand how your mental health can be challenged, torn and thrown into a minefield.

The majority of my working and personal life, I have been blessed to have support and guidance even through times that have been challenging, clarity has been given to see the light and reason through the tunnel, path of life.

This blogg is going to read as scrambled, because that’s how I feel where I am at.

How did I get here? I meditate, fast, practice yoga, take cold showers, inhale and exhale…watch and manage my energy and who comes into my auric space.

I have…I thought, felt I had leveled up! During this pandemic, was living my best life.

4 months into the start of this pandemic, I was given the opportunity to use all my skills, share the benefits of holistic health and well-being and help people and get paid. The work was intense, but so satisfying, encouraging help and support to families, children, vulnerable people struggling with the pandemic, struggling with life. However this was only a temporary position. During this time, I began to explore other opportunities, different areas of employment, will the same goals to help and support that would again be rewarding.

I was ready to leave my old position, stepping into a new role, new responsibilities, into the unknown with enthusiasm, creativity and empathy, with an edge of excitement.

As time moved on…the excitement and enthusiasm began to be replaced with doubt, uncertainty with an edge of….I am still trying to find the word…But the position department, role was just not sitting well within. I began to feel I was moving into an environment of disorder, frustration, anxiety. I am not really sure again if those are the words, I fitting to describe.

I wouldn’t say, everything is a blur, but its difficult to share, write my emotions, feelings the place where I am at now as everything is in the core of my being and I am not able to move through it so easy.

I really don’t believe the characters I have been around the past month are as a result of the pandemic, their characters were as such before, the pandemic has allowed for their deep rooted dark self to reign.

I have heard of the term ‘Gas lighting’ and to be on the receiving end is really like being on a merry go round, that you’d like to get off, but everyone on it is enjoying the ride.

I am ‘Drowning, not waving’ I am in ‘Situational Depression‘